A quick Internet search of First Time Mum Checklist demonstrates what a material world we live in – Madonna hit the nail on the head! Everything focuses on what you need to buy rather than what you need to do or plan. The Midwives at My Expert Midwife are going to rectify this as we pull together our top tips to help you prepare for your new life as a growing family.
Of course, you are going to need some clothes for baby, nappies, a pram and possibly a car seat. If you choose not to breast feed you will need bottles, teats, artificial milk and something to sterilise your bottles with, but actually the main things your baby needs is love, food, warmth, and safety so let’s concentrate on how planning to become a new parent can really ease some of the pressures and panics associated with the birth of your new baby.
- YOU CANNOT POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP We cannot stress this enough. A pregnancy, birth, and the adjustment to becoming a new parent can be overwhelming even for the most well-prepared person and it is so important to take time for self-care. This is non-negotiable time for you to be you – read a book, take a long soak in the bath or a refreshing shower, go for a walk, nap, watch TV or meet a friend. There will almost always be someone you can call on to be with your baby.
- YOU CANNOT SPOIL A BABY There is no such thing as too many cuddles Skin to Skin with your baby is evidence-based to calm you both down by regulating your heartbeats, your breathing rate, and their temperature. It helps with bonding – think of this precious time as really getting to know each other. Babies have a very short focal length in the early days and weeks so having them up close helps them to focus on you, and that eye-to-eye contact floods you with the love hormone Oxytocin. Every hug, every kiss, every touch, every conversation, every look builds your baby’s brain firing those connections – pure magic!
- BE KIND TO YOURSELF Do not be tempted to compare your parenting styles with those of friends and family, or even more so celebs in the media. You will be offered so much advice from well-meaning onlookers but remember that you are the new mum, and you will know your bay’s needs and wants better than anyone. Listen to their advice, thank them, and then follow the recommendations from your healthcare team, which is always based on the best available evidence to safeguard the health and wellbeing of you and your baby.
- TRUST MATERNAL INSTINCT Yes, it is a real thing! If you are ever concerned about yourself or your baby act on it. As a team of Midwives, we have seen maternal instinct kick in on many an occasion, and despite mum not being able to voice her concerns specifically they are usually right so never be afraid to speak up. Your healthcare team will never judge you for just wanting the best for your baby!
- PLAN A SUPPORT NETWORK – It takes a village to raise a child – what an accurate description. Have a list of people you can call on to offer support be that helping with washing, cleaning, cooking, or just a friend to have a cuppa and a natter with. You get absolutely no points for trying to be all things to everybody all the time, instead ask for help! You will thank yourself if you do.
